Aspergian Meltdowns

'Flying off the Handle'

As mentioned in my previous posts, today I thought I would talk about 'Meltdowns'. As you might imagine, these are a part of Aspergers which can be  the hardest to hide; the part of Aspergers which labels us as difficult, rude and irrational.

It's therefore quite ironic that I have titled this piece 'Flying off the Handle', although of course very deliberate. That is because my biggest source of stress in social situations is misunderstanding, which, in turn, causes me to melt down.

Flying off the handle is an example of figurative language; that is, phrases which don't mean what the literal definitions would suggest. 

More information about figurative language and Aspergers can be found at https://asdhelp.wordpress.com/tag/literal-and-figurative-language/ and http://www.specialed.us/autism/asper/asper12.html.

Back to the focus of this blog post; meltdowns.

A meltdown in and Aspie is comparable, I suppose, to a temper tantrum in a small child. Through reading, I am led to believe that these likenesses are why the general public seem to find the Aspie meltdown as a 'nuisance' or as 'childish'. There are many key differences between a true meltdown and a tantrum though, and understanding these differences is a starting point to understanding the mentality of an Aspie.

Please allow me to copy and paste here some information regarding an Aspie meltdown; they put the issues into words much more clearly than me...

*  Meltdowns are neurological, not emotional.  They are a product of the different configurations in the AS brain and the hyper-sensitive AS nerves.

*  Meltdowns are a sign that an AS person is over-whelmed.

*  Meltdowns are not temper tantrums.  They are not triggered by anger and are not indicative of someone not getting their way.

*  Meltdowns are not anxiety attacks.  However, anxiety is a contributing factor leading up to a meltdown.

*  Meltdowns are manageable before they’ve broken.  There are warning signs leading up to a meltdown, both internal to the AS person and external, visible to others.  Paying attention to these signs is key to preventing a meltdown.

*  Meltdowns are not controllable.  Once a meltdown is triggered, trying to stop it is like trying to tell the weather where to rain.  Conventional anger management and calming techniques will not work when a meltdown is under way.

*  A person having a meltdown is overwhelmed. 

*  A person having a meltdown is not over-reacting.

*  A person having a meltdown does need to remove themselves from the overwhelming environment and get to some place calmer.

*  A person having a meltdown does not need to ‘buck up’ and push themselves through it.

*  A person having a meltdown is horribly embarrassed by it, far more so than any onlooker is.

*  A person having a meltdown is unlikely to become violent or a threat to others, as long as they are not provoked.  Remember, they are in a heightened state of fight-or-flight and may perceive many actions by others as threats to themselves.

In short, a meltdown is an uncontrollable 'fit of rage', which, once under way is impossible to bring to an end, it must continue. 

Now a personal plea from me;

If your Aspie is having meltdowns, please make the effort to learn any warning behaviours that they may display, such as exasperation or confusion, and upon noticing these make it easy for them to escape the stressful situation. By doing this you are providing them the opportunity to avoid the humiliation they would feel by having a public meltdown, such as happened to me in work the other day. It has taken a very public meltdown for my employers to realise just how differently I respond to what they consider to be 'everyday' stresses.

I pretty much guarantee that your Aspie doesn't mean it, and will be mortally embarrassed by their outburst once they have calmed down.

L x