Advocacy

Today I am thinking about advocacy within mental health. 

Not championing awareness of mental health, but actual advocacy, you know, support with financial management, support attending appointments, support getting through life essentially.

I am a 26 year old, single female living in Liverpool. I live near to my family, but not in the family home.

My parents, well they are there for me as much as they can be, but they have their own problems and those of my sister to deal with too. 

Besides my parents, society presumes that I can survive on my own.

Problems I have with independent survival:

• I struggle to speak on the phone (communication disorder, Aspergers)
• I get so stressed over aspects of life I avoid them (I avoid opening post, I am in massive debt and the stress makes me very ill, it can trigger a depressive phase)
• I struggle with waiting rooms (I avoided my GP for 18 months as I couldn't face the waiting room, making myself more ill in the process)
• I am not very capable completing forms (if they don't follow my train of thought or the questions are not completely relevant it sends me into meltdown)

These are just the 'tip of the iceberg' when it comes to problems. I am struggling with day to day existence, but there seems to be no system in place for support.

I feel like I fall outside all of the brackets; I can walk, so I don't need a carer, I can read and write, so I don't need a carer, I have full command over all four limbs, so I don't need a carer....

However, I neglect my personal hygiene, because of lack of motivation/other mental issues... I avoid dealing with my debts as they are too anxiety provoking... I struggle maintaining my house, I spend so long making lists of what to do that I don't do any of it, I can't touch dishes that have been left in the sink, I can't wear gloves due to textural issues... I lack motivation to cook, so either starve or binge (really good recovery for a bulimic don't you think?)

But these issues don't meet with the 'need for support'. I, of course, have the physical ability to turn on a tap to run a bath, so I don't qualify for support...

Why is my mental inability any less of a disability than a physical one. The end result is that neither myself or a physically incapable person would be able to achieve the end result, but the lack of willingness to support suggests that they think that I am choosing not to be able to do these things.

I intend to continue self-advocating to the best of my abilities, but I feel on the cusp of admitting defeat, turning up at the psychological hospital and requesting admission... It may be the only way to get some intense support.